Episode 1: Sticky Situation at the Glue Factory!

"Give it up, Professor," I said with a casual smile, "We both know how this is going to end."

"You'll have to forgive my optimism, Crimson Y, seeing as how I'm holding the gun!" Professor Sweeny declared with a maniacal cackle.  It was a fair enough point, as he wasn't holding your standard .38 or Tommy-gun but another one of his ray guns, straight out of a Flash Gordon comic. Quite a large one, when compared to his previous inventions. I couldn't remember any of those ray guns requiring a backpack power supply. 

The truth of the matter was that no matter how big the gun was, I wasn't too worried about its ability to hurt me, but what it might do to the building beneath us. The old Smith and Son's Glue Factory may have been sitting empty since the stock market took a tumble a few years back, at least until the Professor here had taken up residence, but right now it held the kidnapped Sister Mary Ignatius and maybe a dozen of the orphans she housed and raised. Oh yeah, and the Mayor was down there too. He was already not my biggest fan, but while I didn't vote for him, nobody deserved to be blown up by this lunatic.

"Topaz City will recognize my brilliance, or it will be suddenly short one elected official and one very sweet and caring nun!" Sweeny ranted. He was standing on a platform next to the large smokestack, a large electronic switch next to him. "You will not stop me this time, you masked buffoon!"

"Hey now, Prof," I said, putting on a hurt face and trying to casually edge closer to him, "name calling's just uncalled for. Why don't you just tell me what you need, and we can end this peacefully. What kind of recognition do you mean?"

"A statue!" he declared, "it was my inventions that put this jewel encrusted dung heap of a city on the map and I demand tribute!"

This again.  It was true that Professor Sweeny had been instrumental at connecting Topaz City to the rest of the world. As Edison and Tesla battled it out for the most lucrative contracts back east, Professor Barnaby Sweeny had his hand in nearly every step of the city's development.  Up until the point he was trapped in his submersible under the Ohio River and frozen for the next thirty years. While he's still in the history books, it's not as much as he would have liked.

"Yes, the statue. We've heard that one before..."

"I'm not finished you simpleton!"

"I'm afraid you are." With that, I leaped forward and up, angling myself to soar over him. I may be six and a half feet tall and built like a Buick, but it's all super-dense muscle that gives me a sixty-foot standing leap and makes me pretty much bulletproof. This is why kooks like the Professor tend to break out the fancy hardware when I'm expected. A bolt of green lightning scorched the edge of the roof where I'd been standing about the time that I was bouncing off the smokestack, reversing my direction and landing me right on top of the Professor's big fancy switch.  The whole thing made a satisfying crunch as it broke into a pile of useless parts. For my success, I was granted a face full of death ray.

"DIE HERO!" he screamed over the crackle and buzz of his weapon as if it was spitting pure hatred at me, which given the Professor's talents, it just might be.

I stumbled back under the barrage of energy, blinded by it's evil glow. It felt like being hit with an ice cold fire hose, both numbing and biting, but in the end, not particularly painful. I felt my feet slipping back a few more inches and leaned into the blast, shielding my face with my left arm.

"Not today!" I shouted over the din and took a step forward again. I felt like I could have sidestepped the ray and made faster progress, but that would have risked him hitting the building or even the hostages below. I realized as I inched forward that this was why the weapon had been bigger. The backpack was either the power source or a generator of some kind.  This continuous deluge of energy was supposed to wear me down.  The arms and chest of my crimson suit were charred and smoldering and I knew my tailor was going to be furious with me again. In any case, I knew I had my target.

With Herculean effort, I threw myself forward and landed on my hands and knees a the base of the platform. Sweeny switched off his ray gun and stepped to the edge of the platform. His evil smile widened as he surveyed his fallen opponent below. I could hear the whirring of his goggle lenses as his eyes squinted with glee. I readied myself for another blast or more of his demands, not knowing which would be harder to bear, and dug my hands into the tar and rag roofing.

"You always did think with your muscles, Crimson Y!" He gloated, making me wish he'd just shoot me again. "Which is why you now bow before your new master!  The Emperor of Topaz City!" He lowered the humming weapon to fire and I gripped the roof and pulled back with all my might. The top few inches of laminated felt rose before me like a wall, intercepting the deadly energy. I didn't know how long it would last, but it was enough for me to leap over it and the Professor's head once again, twisting in the air to land right behind him.  I thrust my right hand into one of the openings on the Professor's backpack causing a series of cracks.  With my left, I ripped the connecting hose out of the box before he could even turn around.

When he finally did, it was to swing the bulk of his now unplugged death ray at my face.  I stood there in my smoldering suit and let him swing.  Predictably enough, the brass and crystal barrel shattered against my mug. He didn't even knock off my hat. I took it away from him and casually tossed it over my shoulder. I grabbed Sweeny by the collar and lifted him up.

"I told you we knew how this was going to end." I said shaking my head.

"You haven't won yet, cretin!" he spat while he squirmed in my hand. Suddenly a small device appeared in his hand.  I tensed, but he simply held his thumb over it. "You fell for my bait!  The switch was merely a ruse!  I can trigger the explosives in this building using this radioscopic transmitter!  Fool!  Surrender or we will all die together!"



*Will the Crimson Y stop the evil Professor Sweeny?*

*Will he save the orphans, Mayor, and Sister Mary Ignatius?*

*Tune in next time, to the Further Adventures of The Crimson Y!"